So I feel bad for even posting this one, but I have to get these thoughts out of my head and that's what this blog is for anyway, right?
Yesterday we told our friends BB & KB about the pregnancy. They have been going through a lot and share it all with us, so we feel close enough to them that if anything, God forbid, happened we would share it with them anyway. We were at a softball game that DW & KB were playing in, so BB and I were sitting in the bleachers watching. Of course, she was so excited for us. I had previously told her that we had been trying for a while, so she knew a little about it. She was pretty surprised. I told her about all the blood work and going for the u/s on Monday and the fears I have. Her comment was that if something was wrong and I did miscarry, that's what was supposed to happen and this one was not supposed to be my baby. She said her mom had a miscarriage before her and if she would have had that baby, she would not have been born. Keep in mind, she is one of the sweetest girls I know, and she would never say anything to purposefully hurt me. I just kind of brushed it off and said I was praying very hard that things would be OK. I thought about it later though, and wondered how many times I have said something meant to comfort someone and hurt them instead. I hope I haven't. People mean well, but they just speak without thinking sometimes.
I've got very nauseous last night. They wanted to go to IHOP after the game and I had a spinach and mushroom omelet. It had waaaaay to many onions and I was queasy as soon as we left. I woke up this morning and still felt off. If I even THINK of that omelet my stomach does flips!
Oh, and I now have super sonic smelling powers! I smelled a tar trunk from miles away last night!
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5 comments:
I know - I had the same thoughts not too long ago. What have I said and hurt someone by it when I meant well? I know better now. It must be one of those things that until you go through it - you just don't understand and we have to be understanding of those.
yea, i wonder that too, if i've said things like that that were so insensitive in situations that i didn't understand yet.
It sounds like she meant well and I'm glad she was excited for you
I often seem a bit dumb because I think too much before trying to say the right thing. Arg. I know I'm regularly saying things that hurt people. Too much honesty...
For lots of people saying things like "it just wasn't meant to be" or "it was time" or "everything happens for a reason" is a way to push emotions aside. And it might be comforting to them. But when they say it, they push your emotions and your need to express them aside as well. It's too bad. But it isn't malicious.
What I do is say "I know but I NEED to talk-vent-rage-cry about it so bare with me for a few minutes".
Congrats on the pregnancy !
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I'm so sorry your friend said that. It's the last thing you want to think about! I know it is my biggest fear right now!
I am going to follow you too! When are you due?
I have thought the same thing already! I hope so bad that I don't offend people with some things I say with well meaning behind my words! I really do need to be more aware of what I do say. I think Infertility has helped me with that a lot! Praying that the Lord keeps you and your baby safe!
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