Stress: It's a Beautiful Thing!

The countdown has begun! It's t-minus 6 days until we get to see the baby and find out what it is! I'm definitely hitting Target and Baby's-R-Us to start the registry madness as soon as we find out! I NEED to shop! I'm not typically a shopper (the bill at the end usually makes me week in the knees), but having these things, like a crib and stroller, make it more real.

Sunday our friends KB and BB joined us for church. They actually attend the same church, different campus, but they wanted to see what ours was like. It was so much fun to sit with friends and discuss the sermon after. The sermon was great, except for the part when they talked to a couple who found out their baby had died the day she was supposed to deliver. I lost it. I knew it was coming as soon as they started talking and I just wanted to bolt. Baby started kicking while they were talking. Like it was saying. "Don't worry, I'm still here Mommy!" I was sniffling pretty much the rest of the service. We got to go see a movie, Shutter Island (a must see) and lunch after. We always have so much fun with them!

Baby is kicking more and more now. I had two concerts this weekend and it kicked a LOT during the rehearsals before the concerts. Especially during the percussion parts!

The aforementioned stress comes from the house hunting saga. A town house went on the market Saturday evening, I called Monday and made and appointment to see it, and there was already another couple trying to make an offer Tuesday morning when I called to make an offer!! Now we are in a bidding contest. The realtor can't tell us what the other people are offering, we just have to take a stab in the dark. I hate this!!

Almost 5:00 (Thank the Lord!)

I am in such a fog today! I really haven't gotten much work done today because I am so tired! I didn't get to go to bed until late last night and my poor pregnant little body can't handle it. I only get about 5-5.5 hours of sleep usually and any less just leaves me grumpy!

On the house hunting front, I have decided to dump all the realtors and go it alone. It has gone great so far! I have looked up listings, made phone calls and have gotten us into four great houses. One realtor even gave me the lock box code and told me to just go myself since he couldn't get to the area anytime soon. It was so great to be able to walk around the house with DW and talk candidly about the issues we saw without a realtor following us around. I fell in love with the townhouse we saw yesterday. Wood floors downstairs, large bedrooms, beautiful kitchen with new appliances, huge bathrooms and a "lake" view. It's in our price range, but DW is worried about trying to sell it a few years down the road. It's only three bedrooms, so we would want to upgrade later on. We have one more place to look at tomorrow. I am kind of hopeful about this one, it's near the ocean. If not for the market being the way it is, this one would be waaaay out of our price range, but it's a short sale at an extremely reduced price. We will see. Trying not to get my hopes up.

While not working today, I decided to shop jogging strollers. I want to get back to running as soon as I can after the baby, so I am trying to find a jogging stroller that is safe for infants. I found two that look pretty good and don't cost too much.

This one from Baby Trend:

Or this Jeep Overland:

Both have the car seat conversion kit so you can use them for an infant. I found good reviews for both. Hopefully I can find it in one of my local stores so I can actually see them.

We are going to the fair tonight with my sister and some friends. I was never really a ride person before, so being pregnant won't put a damper on the fun for me. Can't wait to have a funnel cake though!

A Day for DW

I decided that since Valentine's Day lands smack in the middle of tax season, I was going to use this day to help DW unwind and feel special. I booked a couples massage for 6:00 in the evening. He loves them! I turned him on to it after I had to drag him to one last year. After that, he was hooked! The spa is right near the water, so I did a little research and found a park that was open after dark, on the water and had a great view of a lighthouse. Saturday I got up after DW left for work, went grocery shopping and settled in for an afternoon of cooking. It was crazy! In the midst of doing laundry and cleaning the house I baked a cake (from scratch!), made chocolate icing (also from scratch), chicken salad, tomato and mozzarella salad, hard boiled eggs, chocolate covered bananas, sparkling strawberry lemonade and iced and decorated the cake. I found a picnic basket I had been given as a wedding shower gift. I snuck it all in the car after DW came home and took a shower. I didn't tell DW about the massage until right before we were ready to leave. He was very excited. It was a lot different for me than the usual. I had to lay on my sides and she worked on me that way. Still so awesome! Then we left and I gave DW the directions to the "restaurant" we were going to eat at. He was kind of confused, but picked up on it as soon as we pulled into the parking lot. It was chilly, so I had snuck our coats in the car too. It was perfect! We had a private pavilion with a picnic table right on the water with an awesome view of the lighthouse! I had packed candles, but there was also enough lighting to be able to see our food but still romantic. We both really enjoyed the evening and I was happy I could make DW feel as special as he always makes me feel. He brought me home some gorgeous red roses and awesome gourmet chocolates. I also gave him a Florida Marlins onesie (his favorite team) which he says is what we are bringing the baby home in, boy or girl!

Back on the Horse

The tears are dried, the tissues are thrown away and after a good dose of Visine I am ready to take the big step and find a new man. A realtor that is! After DW and I talked for the last few days, we decided to turn our sites elsewhere, secure a new realtor and start looking at town houses. We have some nice ones in the area, and though it won't be the permanent residence we were hoping to purchase, it would be much better than the current apartment we are squeezed into. Don't get me wrong, we live in a nice development, but we are ready to stretch out. Get a couch that seats more than three people! Have a real dinning room table! Buy a grill! It's the little things in life.
We decided that since it's tax season, I will head up this new venture (Isn't DW to great for turning this over to me? I feel like he really trusts me!) We will see how it goes, but I am hopeful again.

On the pregnancy front, I am wearing my first pair of maternity pants! I can still fit into my regular ones, but I'm getting a little tired of the muffin top look in the front. I'm not sure how I feel about the new pants yet. I love the way the front feels. My biggest problem is the length. It is so hard to get maternity pants in size tall! I am 5'9" and all legs, so this has always been a problem for me. I ordered a few from the GAP this morning, so hopefully those will fit well.

I read a blog yesterday where the lady lost her baby at 21 weeks because the baby didn't have kidneys or a liver and she didn't have any anionic fluid. She said that she should have suspected a problem because she was 5 months and hadn't really popped yet. Of course now I am fretting over this. I've sort of been proud of keeping my shape this long in my pregnancy, but what if it means I have an issue? Would they have noticed if something was wrong at my last appointment? I really should stop reading random blogs. *Sigh* I was never a hypochondriac before. They are right. Being a parent makes you worry so much more and I haven't even really started!

Wait! Need to Adjust the Focus

I was all set this morning to write a whiny depressing post this morning. I may still whine a little (it is my blog, I'm allowed) but I think this post will be so much more.

First the bad news. DW called yesterday afternoon and told me we lost the bid on our dream house. The house we have been in love for over a year. The house that was so out of reach, then a miracle happened and it was a possibility and now the door has closed forever. I cried. Just sat in my office and sobbed. Blame it on the hormones. It's just a stupid house, but in that area I am completely, totally, mentally exhausted. We have been actively looking since May '09. We have looked at literally hundreds of houses online and in person. We have made offers, we have prayed. Still nothing. I really can't think about starting all over again. It's like a bad break-up. You just don't have the energy for another relationship. Poor DW is just as crushed. He came home earlier than planned yesterday (and brought me a Starbucks decaf frap), even though he is in the throws of tax season, just so we could be together and talk before his softball game. My poor boss came in my office when I was on the phone, saw my red eyes and panicked. As soon as I got of the phone, I went to his office to assure him the baby was fine, as I suspected he assumed was the issue. His answer was, "God is Sovereign". I know this, but at that very moment I don't want a fix. I want to scream inside and question. His words kept playing in my head though. As I was on my way home. As I was waiting for DW to come home. Then a friend called and gave me some great news about her and her situation. That really lifted my spirits and reminded my that yes, God is Sovereign. I still don't know why he makes us struggle so much. I still don't have answers, but who does? If anyone claims to, they lie.
Then, this morning my cell phone rang. I knew it was the doctor's office as soon as I saw the number. I almost didn't want to answer the phone. We tested negative for everything. Down's, spinal bifida and the thousands of other things they tested for that I don't even know. Negative for all. My baby is healthy and growing. We have our miracle baby and where we live or what we drive doesn't matter. We have this miracle. And then the picture came into focus. We may lose the little things, but we win the important ones. We have to fight hard, but we get blessed in the end. That's what really matters. I will forget all this tomorrow. I will whine again and question. I will look at our apartment and the little maintenance issues and wonder how we will make it through my nesting stage, but I will survive. God is Sovereign.

P.s. The best moment of the day was DW's face when he felt the baby

My First Award!

My first award and I was nominated for it twice! Thank you to Crossed Fingers from My Lovely Lady Bump and Kari from Baby Steps! You are both too sweet!


Seven Facts About Me:

1.) I am the oldest of five children. One sister and three brothers in that order. They are 23, 20, 12 and 10. Big age gap with the last two. My parents did it smart! They had built in babysitters!

2.) I am somewhat of a musician. I play the viola, violin, piano, and base guitar. I am currently playing the viola in our community symphony orchestra.

3.) I am a novice runner since my early teens. I have done a 3k and a 5k. I don't think I would ever want to run a marathon. I'm not really into the races. I like to run for myself and to de-stress

4.) I am a second degree brown belt in Tai Chun Do. I have won a few trophies for sparring and self defense moves.

5.) DW and I only dated nine months before he asked me to marry him. We just knew. We have been happily married for almost 3 years and it's been the best three years of my life!

6.) I am borderline OCD and a totally neat freak! My friends always tease me about it. I love Yankee Candles and anything that has a fresh, clean cotton scent.

7.) My favorite color is blue. The soft oceany blue colors. I use those colors in everything I decorate. Oh, and butterflies!

I nominate:

Baby Steps - Actually while I was still working on this post she nominated me! Since I already had her down, I'm not changing it. She deserves it twice anyway! She is so sweet and she and I are due two days apart. It is so neat to compare stories!

The Daily Snapshot - She writes exactly what she is thinking. I love that! Plus, she is so cute!

Dreaming of Baby - This is actually Crossed Fingers second blog. She has the coolest stuff on there!

Where the Wright Day Takes You - Poor thing needs a lift! It's tax season! Also, her blog is gorgeous!

Mis(sed) Conception - She was my very first follower and so sweet. We have so many similarities and she is long over due for her turn at this Mommy thing!

A Seattle Couple's Story - She is one of my newer followers through IComLeavWe and I love her sense of humor.

In the Making - This lucky gal got blessed (and surprised!) with twins. She has the cutest little baby bump!

Once Upon A Cline - This beautiful lady was one of the first blogs I read on Conceive. She and her husband had a miscarriage last year, but they just announced that they will be expecting a new little one in August! So excited for her!

There It Is

Going through a typical Monday, minding my own business, getting my work done. Bam! It comes along and smacks me. The thought, "You haven't heard back from the Dr. about the nuchal translucency and blood test yet." Crap! I didn't really think about it all weekend. The nurse told me if I didn't hear from her Friday, the test wouldn't be back and I would hear from her Monday. This test has taken over a month and I'm ready to be done with it! Looking back I think I regret doing it. Then I see the beautiful pictures and I remember why I did it. The results don't matter to us, it's not going to change anything, I just don't want to worry that there may be something wrong with my baby!

Very long last few weeks. Last Saturday was Race for the Cure in a town near me and I participated in the run with a some co-workers, a few friends and my sister. It was a great feeling to be 4 months pregnant and finish a 5k with a pretty good time! I was proud of myself! Running has gotten a little more difficult again. Can't figure out why besides the fact that my digestive system is acting up in a major way lately and that tends to slow me down.
Tuesday we had a doctors appointment and got to hear the heartbeat again. Oh, and I only gained two pounds so far! Yeah! Slow and steady! We finally have an appointment on March 2nd to find out if it's boy or girl. I can't wait! That seems FOREVER away!
This weekend we celebrated a friend's birthday with his family (so much fun!) and had a Superbowl party. I could have cared less about the game, but the company was nice.

The coolest thing this week: I have started to feel the baby! Wednesday I was sitting at my desk a little hunched over. I suddenly felt this *poke*. I didn't think anything of it and continued working. All of a sudden I sat straight up and thought, "Hey! That was the baby!!!!" I e-mailed DW and he thought it was the coolest thing! I tried to wiggle my belly a little, but the little bugger wouldn't budge again. It was like it was saying, "Hey! Stop squishing me!" I didn't feel much for the rest of the week, but Sunday night I felt a few pokes in a row. Definitely the neatest feeling ever!!

Better get back to work. Weird day in the office. They are moving a bunch of people to reorganize again, so there has been a lot of activity outside my office. The office chatterbox is moving back near me again. Lord give me strength! She will just have a cubicle so I will be able to hear her all day. Thank the Lord for headphones! I'm just praying her boss keeps her busy. She likes to park herself in my office for 20 minutes at a time to give me the latest news from her life. *Sigh* 5 more months!!!