TGFO: Thank God Friday is Over!!

DW is away for the weekend. He left with his friend KB on Thursday to go to Tennessee to his dad's property. They are practicing shooting clay disks because they are going to participate in a charity shoot out in two weeks. He was so excited!

I had forgotten how lonely it is at night when you are used to having someone to bump into in our small apartment! (We'll, they call it a condo, but really?? That's just so it sounds nicer on paper!) I've noticed all the little things DW does that I take for granted. Take out the trash, clean the litter box, check the doors before we go to bed, make the bed every morning (well, most mornings after two years of not getting why it has to be made. I'm a little OCD :O) ), make sure the AC is at a good temp. for sleeping, putting my blanket on the bed every night so that everything is just right and ready for me to crawl in (he is so sweet and thoughtful!). Not to say that I don't notice these things when he is here. I thank him all the time for what he does, you just realize more when you are the one that has to do everything again. I lived on my own for two years before we got married. I'm very capable of living alone, but I am so glad I don't have to anymore!

It's been fun hanging out with my sister and friends. KB's wife BB and I have really clicked in the past month. We laugh at our husbands because they have become inseparable. They have lunch together at least twice a week and text each other constantly! She is battling her own kind of "TTC" problems. She can't even try because of a heart problem that has kept her out of work for the last month. She can't drive because she passes out at any given time! They don't know exactly what is wrong right now, so she is going through a gamut of tests. It's exhausting. Keep her in your prayers.

Friday was just a bad day. Stupid little things not working out all day just put me in a bad moodI don't think the Provera was helping my mood either. Everything from going down to lunch and there not being any food left or a place to sit with my friends, to a package not being delivered when I got home and finding out I would have to drive two hours to pick it up at the warehouse! At least I got the package thing worked out and they are going to deliver it to me at work on Tuesday.

Saturday was much nicer. Ran the bridge this morning with my sister and a friend and walked the boardwalk right after to cool down. It was so pretty! It's on the river here and there were cool birds and fish. Went to Sonic for lunch (we deserved it after working out for an hour!) and then dinner and a movie with my parents, sister and two younger brothers. Today definitely made up for yesterday!

DW comes home tomorrow.! I'm excited! I'm going to be really bad and skip church tomorrow. I don't want to sit at church alone. We are still fairly new and I don't know anyone. I have to get the chores done before he gets home. I want the house to look and smell as nice as possible for him to come home to. Oh, and we get an extra hour of sleep tonight! Yipee!!

Tomorrow is the last day on Provera. My boobs are so sore! Besides that, nothing else really bad. I am very bloated too, but that might just be the onset of my AF. Let's hope! CD 58!!

Happiness

Happiness is just outside my window

Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?

Or is happiness a little more like knocking

On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow

Let it be, you can’t make it come or go

But you are gone- not for good but for now

Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard

Happiness was never mine to hold

Careful child, light the fuse and get away

‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you

Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor

So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now

Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me

Look for it, but you’ll never find it all

But let it go, live your life and leave it

Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home

Home, home, home

The Fray

Anyone Have Jumper Cables?

Thanks to all my wonderful blogger friends advice, I called the Dr.'s office and he put me on 10mg of Provera for the next 7 days. It's a mile marker. My first medication on my road to pregnancy. Why am I afraid it's the first of many prescriptions I'm going to be picking up? I'm going to be a regular at Walgreens. Just what I always wanted!

I feel like I am a car with a dead battery and I need a jump start! I'm excited though, because it feels like I may be back on track. I'm doing something again!

I really like my doctor. He called me back himself. When I told him I was on day 53 he sounded a little shocked. He told me he wants me to be sure to get the blood test on day three, "We will get that blood test, get you on Clomid and get you pregnant!" He says it like we are going to a grocery store and getting the items on our list. Like it's going to be the easiest thing in the world! It made me laugh!

The side effects kind of scare me. Most the possibility of mood swings and depression. Like this whole precess isn't depressing enough! If I start sounding like I'm crazy, you guys have to tell me! Poor DW!

Still Waiting

First, I would like to congratulate Johanna from (the road to) mommyland. She just found out she is pregnant! She is one of my favorite bloggers on Conceive and one of my inspirations to start blogging. If you get a chance, tell her congrats.

I'm still trying to stay hopeful. Still no AF. CD 50! How is that even possible? Of course I have taken a pt. Of course it says Not Pregnant. I wasn't expecting it to. I haven't had any symptoms at all. I think being sick messed this cycle up further. I just want to get on with it! If I don't get my period, I can't do any of the tests! My Dr is going to think I given up. I'm wondering if I need to call him and tell him I haven't had my period yet. Can they do anything?

I'm pretty sure I saw a real live crackhead the other day. Walking through Wal-Mart...pregnant! We had just gotten out of church too. It made me so angry! I blurted out "God is really not fair!" DW just looked at me and said "I know".

Thanks to all of you for you well wishes. I'm finally feeling better.

Feeling Blah

I've been sick for the last two days. Wound up leaving work early yesterday and today. Not something I usually do, but it's been very frustrating at the office and I decided that it wasn't worth suffering and trying to get through the day while I felt so achy and sick.

Nothing to report on TTC . No AF and on CD 41. This is ridiculous! I am hoping that being sick doesn't totally prevent AF from showing up. I need to put the plan into action! I am so tired of waiting!!

Hope I feel better tomorrow. I really can't leave work again.

It's All My Fault!

Finally, some good news! DW did his semen analysis and got all good marks!

PH: 8.0
Volume: 2.0
Viscosity: Normal
Motility: 63%
Vitality: 68%
Sperm Count: 59% (Normal is greater than twenty, so he is saying he has super sperm! :OD)
Morph: 48%

So my friends, this means it is officially all my fault! I am actually happy to take the blame this time. It was just nice to get some good news for a change. I was at work when Dr. D called the next morning. I had to run outside and call DW! I was almost in tears. Now if only AF would arrive! Isn't she just the rudest guest you have ever met?!

P.S. I asked DW if it was ok if I posted his results

Some Words To Encourage

It's funny how you can listen to a song for a while and never really take the time to listen to the words. My sister actually quoted a line from this song on her Facebook, which made me look up the rest of the lyrics. It really touched me and I felt like it was very appropriate. Hope it encourages you! Check out the song if you get a chance. Just the words doesn't really give it justice.

Half way around the world lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind when you awake
Is bending you 'til you break, let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Baby don't forget, we haven't lost it all yet

Don't know what you're made of 'til the one thing that you want
Is coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
The Monday syndicate meets everyone the same
All we've lost to the flame, listen to me now

Baby close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Don't ever forget, we haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby, don't forget we haven't lost it all yet

Someday when this is over
We may still have no answer
For now it's when I hold her
We are closer, we are closer

Baby, close your eyes, don't open 'til the morning light
Don't ever forget, we haven't lost it all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby, don't forget we haven't lost it all yet
We haven't lost it all yet

We are closer, we are closer

Syndicate by The Fray

The Plan

We've added a third person to our baby making team. Dr. D, who was wonderful. He thinks I am not ovulating, so this means lots of test in my future. As soon as my period decides to show up this month we can get started. I like to know about things, so I am sorry if this post bores you, but I have done a lot of research and I am posting what I found in case anyone is interested.

Test #1:
Blood test to check levels of Estrodiol, FSH & LH and Prolactin levels
CD3

An estradiol test measures the amount of a hormone called estradiol in the blood. Estradiol is the most important form of estrogen found in the body. Most of it is made in and released from the ovaries, adrenal cortex, and the placenta, which forms during pregnancy to feed a developing baby.
Estradiol is responsible for the growth of the female uterus, Fallopian tubes, and vagina. It promotes breast development and the growth of the outer genitals. The hormone plays a role in the distribution of body fat in women and stops the process of growing taller.

I'm sure you know what FSH & LH is, but I thought this was interesting:
Follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) is one of the most important hormones involved in the natural menstrual cycle as well as in pharmacological (drug-induced) stimulation of the ovaries. It is the main hormone involved in producing mature eggs in the ovaries..
FSH is the same hormone that is contained in the injectable gonadotropins which are used to produce multiple eggs for infertility treatment.
In women, LH helps regulate the menstrual cycle and egg production (ovulation). The level of LH in a woman's body varies with the phase of the menstrual cycle. It increases rapidly just before ovulation occurs, about midway through the cycle (day 14 of a 28-day cycle). This is called an LH surge. Luteinizing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone levels rise and fall together during the monthly menstrual cycle.
Prolactin doesn't just cause your body to increase milk production - it also affects your ovulation and menstrual cycles. This is why it is nearly impossible to become pregnant when you are breastfeeding. (In fact, prolactin is 90% effective against pregnancy in the first months after birth).
The last one, prolactin, I hadn't heard anything about:
Prolactin inhibits two hormones necessary to your ovulation: follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH). Both of these hormones are responsible for helping your eggs to develop and mature in the ovaries, so that they can be released during ovulation. When you have excess prolactin in your bloodstream, ovulation is not triggered, and you will be unable to become pregnant. Prolactin may also affect your menstrual cycle and the regularity of your periods.

Test #2:
Hysterosalpingogram or HSG Test
CD7-12

Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open the dye will fill the tubes and spill into the abdominal cavity.
This determines if the fallopian tubes are open or blocked and whether the blockage is located at the junction of the tube and uterus (proximal) or whether it is at the other end of the fallopian tube (distal). These are the areas where the tube is most commonly blocked. Very successful treatment for tubal factor infertility is available.
There are other things that potentially can be seen on a hysterosalpingogram other that whether the tubes are open or blocked. The uterine cavity is evaluated for the presence of congenital uterine anomalies, polyps, fibroid tumors or uterine scar tissue. The fallopian tubes are also examined for defects within them, for suggestion of partial blockage, and for evidence of pelvic scar tissue in the abdominal cavity near the tubes.
I think this is the one I am most afraid of. Dr. D said the test itself is more uncomfortable than painful, but to take 600mg of Ibuprofen before the test because my uterus will cramp. DW has some 800mg Ibuprofen that his dentist gave him. I think I will take one!

Test #3:
Blood test to check levels of Progesterone
CD-21

A progesterone test measures the amount of the hormone progesterone in a blood sample. Progesterone is a female hormone produced by the ovaries during release of a mature egg from an ovary (ovulation). Progesterone helps prepare the lining of the uterus (endometrium) to receive the egg if it becomes fertilized by a sperm. If the egg is not fertilized, progesterone levels drop and menstrual bleeding begins.

So, this is the plan! Again, I'm sorry if all this is boring, but I'm hoping maybe someone who reads it will learn something new like I did.
I'm glad Dr. D wanted to do all these things before he just put me on Clomid. I will probably go on it eventually, but I want to know what's wrong! Poor DW has to do his "special" test too, but more about that later.......

P.s. Thank you to my new friend Deanna! Your comments always encourage me!