The tears are dried, the tissues are thrown away and after a good dose of Visine I am ready to take the big step and find a new man. A realtor that is! After DW and I talked for the last few days, we decided to turn our sites elsewhere, secure a new realtor and start looking at town houses. We have some nice ones in the area, and though it won't be the permanent residence we were hoping to purchase, it would be much better than the current apartment we are squeezed into. Don't get me wrong, we live in a nice development, but we are ready to stretch out. Get a couch that seats more than three people! Have a real dinning room table! Buy a grill! It's the little things in life.
We decided that since it's tax season, I will head up this new venture (Isn't DW to great for turning this over to me? I feel like he really trusts me!) We will see how it goes, but I am hopeful again.
On the pregnancy front, I am wearing my first pair of maternity pants! I can still fit into my regular ones, but I'm getting a little tired of the muffin top look in the front. I'm not sure how I feel about the new pants yet. I love the way the front feels. My biggest problem is the length. It is so hard to get maternity pants in size tall! I am 5'9" and all legs, so this has always been a problem for me. I ordered a few from the GAP this morning, so hopefully those will fit well.
I read a blog yesterday where the lady lost her baby at 21 weeks because the baby didn't have kidneys or a liver and she didn't have any anionic fluid. She said that she should have suspected a problem because she was 5 months and hadn't really popped yet. Of course now I am fretting over this. I've sort of been proud of keeping my shape this long in my pregnancy, but what if it means I have an issue? Would they have noticed if something was wrong at my last appointment? I really should stop reading random blogs. *Sigh* I was never a hypochondriac before. They are right. Being a parent makes you worry so much more and I haven't even really started!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wait! Need to Adjust the Focus
I was all set this morning to write a whiny depressing post this morning. I may still whine a little (it is my blog, I'm allowed) but I think this post will be so much more.
First the bad news. DW called yesterday afternoon and told me we lost the bid on our dream house. The house we have been in love for over a year. The house that was so out of reach, then a miracle happened and it was a possibility and now the door has closed forever. I cried. Just sat in my office and sobbed. Blame it on the hormones. It's just a stupid house, but in that area I am completely, totally, mentally exhausted. We have been actively looking since May '09. We have looked at literally hundreds of houses online and in person. We have made offers, we have prayed. Still nothing. I really can't think about starting all over again. It's like a bad break-up. You just don't have the energy for another relationship. Poor DW is just as crushed. He came home earlier than planned yesterday (and brought me a Starbucks decaf frap), even though he is in the throws of tax season, just so we could be together and talk before his softball game. My poor boss came in my office when I was on the phone, saw my red eyes and panicked. As soon as I got of the phone, I went to his office to assure him the baby was fine, as I suspected he assumed was the issue. His answer was, "God is Sovereign". I know this, but at that very moment I don't want a fix. I want to scream inside and question. His words kept playing in my head though. As I was on my way home. As I was waiting for DW to come home. Then a friend called and gave me some great news about her and her situation. That really lifted my spirits and reminded my that yes, God is Sovereign. I still don't know why he makes us struggle so much. I still don't have answers, but who does? If anyone claims to, they lie.
Then, this morning my cell phone rang. I knew it was the doctor's office as soon as I saw the number. I almost didn't want to answer the phone. We tested negative for everything. Down's, spinal bifida and the thousands of other things they tested for that I don't even know. Negative for all. My baby is healthy and growing. We have our miracle baby and where we live or what we drive doesn't matter. We have this miracle. And then the picture came into focus. We may lose the little things, but we win the important ones. We have to fight hard, but we get blessed in the end. That's what really matters. I will forget all this tomorrow. I will whine again and question. I will look at our apartment and the little maintenance issues and wonder how we will make it through my nesting stage, but I will survive. God is Sovereign.
P.s. The best moment of the day was DW's face when he felt the baby
First the bad news. DW called yesterday afternoon and told me we lost the bid on our dream house. The house we have been in love for over a year. The house that was so out of reach, then a miracle happened and it was a possibility and now the door has closed forever. I cried. Just sat in my office and sobbed. Blame it on the hormones. It's just a stupid house, but in that area I am completely, totally, mentally exhausted. We have been actively looking since May '09. We have looked at literally hundreds of houses online and in person. We have made offers, we have prayed. Still nothing. I really can't think about starting all over again. It's like a bad break-up. You just don't have the energy for another relationship. Poor DW is just as crushed. He came home earlier than planned yesterday (and brought me a Starbucks decaf frap), even though he is in the throws of tax season, just so we could be together and talk before his softball game. My poor boss came in my office when I was on the phone, saw my red eyes and panicked. As soon as I got of the phone, I went to his office to assure him the baby was fine, as I suspected he assumed was the issue. His answer was, "God is Sovereign". I know this, but at that very moment I don't want a fix. I want to scream inside and question. His words kept playing in my head though. As I was on my way home. As I was waiting for DW to come home. Then a friend called and gave me some great news about her and her situation. That really lifted my spirits and reminded my that yes, God is Sovereign. I still don't know why he makes us struggle so much. I still don't have answers, but who does? If anyone claims to, they lie.
Then, this morning my cell phone rang. I knew it was the doctor's office as soon as I saw the number. I almost didn't want to answer the phone. We tested negative for everything. Down's, spinal bifida and the thousands of other things they tested for that I don't even know. Negative for all. My baby is healthy and growing. We have our miracle baby and where we live or what we drive doesn't matter. We have this miracle. And then the picture came into focus. We may lose the little things, but we win the important ones. We have to fight hard, but we get blessed in the end. That's what really matters. I will forget all this tomorrow. I will whine again and question. I will look at our apartment and the little maintenance issues and wonder how we will make it through my nesting stage, but I will survive. God is Sovereign.
P.s. The best moment of the day was DW's face when he felt the baby
Monday, February 8, 2010
My First Award!
My first award and I was nominated for it twice! Thank you to Crossed Fingers from My Lovely Lady Bump and Kari from Baby Steps! You are both too sweet!
Seven Facts About Me:
1.) I am the oldest of five children. One sister and three brothers in that order. They are 23, 20, 12 and 10. Big age gap with the last two. My parents did it smart! They had built in babysitters!
2.) I am somewhat of a musician. I play the viola, violin, piano, and base guitar. I am currently playing the viola in our community symphony orchestra.
3.) I am a novice runner since my early teens. I have done a 3k and a 5k. I don't think I would ever want to run a marathon. I'm not really into the races. I like to run for myself and to de-stress
4.) I am a second degree brown belt in Tai Chun Do. I have won a few trophies for sparring and self defense moves.
5.) DW and I only dated nine months before he asked me to marry him. We just knew. We have been happily married for almost 3 years and it's been the best three years of my life!
6.) I am borderline OCD and a totally neat freak! My friends always tease me about it. I love Yankee Candles and anything that has a fresh, clean cotton scent.
7.) My favorite color is blue. The soft oceany blue colors. I use those colors in everything I decorate. Oh, and butterflies!
I nominate:
Baby Steps - Actually while I was still working on this post she nominated me! Since I already had her down, I'm not changing it. She deserves it twice anyway! She is so sweet and she and I are due two days apart. It is so neat to compare stories!
The Daily Snapshot - She writes exactly what she is thinking. I love that! Plus, she is so cute!
Dreaming of Baby - This is actually Crossed Fingers second blog. She has the coolest stuff on there!
Where the Wright Day Takes You - Poor thing needs a lift! It's tax season! Also, her blog is gorgeous!
Mis(sed) Conception - She was my very first follower and so sweet. We have so many similarities and she is long over due for her turn at this Mommy thing!
A Seattle Couple's Story - She is one of my newer followers through IComLeavWe and I love her sense of humor.
In the Making - This lucky gal got blessed (and surprised!) with twins. She has the cutest little baby bump!
Once Upon A Cline - This beautiful lady was one of the first blogs I read on Conceive. She and her husband had a miscarriage last year, but they just announced that they will be expecting a new little one in August! So excited for her!
There It Is
Going through a typical Monday, minding my own business, getting my work done. Bam! It comes along and smacks me. The thought, "You haven't heard back from the Dr. about the nuchal translucency and blood test yet." Crap! I didn't really think about it all weekend. The nurse told me if I didn't hear from her Friday, the test wouldn't be back and I would hear from her Monday. This test has taken over a month and I'm ready to be done with it! Looking back I think I regret doing it. Then I see the beautiful pictures and I remember why I did it. The results don't matter to us, it's not going to change anything, I just don't want to worry that there may be something wrong with my baby!
Very long last few weeks. Last Saturday was Race for the Cure in a town near me and I participated in the run with a some co-workers, a few friends and my sister. It was a great feeling to be 4 months pregnant and finish a 5k with a pretty good time! I was proud of myself! Running has gotten a little more difficult again. Can't figure out why besides the fact that my digestive system is acting up in a major way lately and that tends to slow me down.
Tuesday we had a doctors appointment and got to hear the heartbeat again. Oh, and I only gained two pounds so far! Yeah! Slow and steady! We finally have an appointment on March 2nd to find out if it's boy or girl. I can't wait! That seems FOREVER away!
This weekend we celebrated a friend's birthday with his family (so much fun!) and had a Superbowl party. I could have cared less about the game, but the company was nice.
The coolest thing this week: I have started to feel the baby! Wednesday I was sitting at my desk a little hunched over. I suddenly felt this *poke*. I didn't think anything of it and continued working. All of a sudden I sat straight up and thought, "Hey! That was the baby!!!!" I e-mailed DW and he thought it was the coolest thing! I tried to wiggle my belly a little, but the little bugger wouldn't budge again. It was like it was saying, "Hey! Stop squishing me!" I didn't feel much for the rest of the week, but Sunday night I felt a few pokes in a row. Definitely the neatest feeling ever!!
Better get back to work. Weird day in the office. They are moving a bunch of people to reorganize again, so there has been a lot of activity outside my office. The office chatterbox is moving back near me again. Lord give me strength! She will just have a cubicle so I will be able to hear her all day. Thank the Lord for headphones! I'm just praying her boss keeps her busy. She likes to park herself in my office for 20 minutes at a time to give me the latest news from her life. *Sigh* 5 more months!!!
Very long last few weeks. Last Saturday was Race for the Cure in a town near me and I participated in the run with a some co-workers, a few friends and my sister. It was a great feeling to be 4 months pregnant and finish a 5k with a pretty good time! I was proud of myself! Running has gotten a little more difficult again. Can't figure out why besides the fact that my digestive system is acting up in a major way lately and that tends to slow me down.
Tuesday we had a doctors appointment and got to hear the heartbeat again. Oh, and I only gained two pounds so far! Yeah! Slow and steady! We finally have an appointment on March 2nd to find out if it's boy or girl. I can't wait! That seems FOREVER away!
This weekend we celebrated a friend's birthday with his family (so much fun!) and had a Superbowl party. I could have cared less about the game, but the company was nice.
The coolest thing this week: I have started to feel the baby! Wednesday I was sitting at my desk a little hunched over. I suddenly felt this *poke*. I didn't think anything of it and continued working. All of a sudden I sat straight up and thought, "Hey! That was the baby!!!!" I e-mailed DW and he thought it was the coolest thing! I tried to wiggle my belly a little, but the little bugger wouldn't budge again. It was like it was saying, "Hey! Stop squishing me!" I didn't feel much for the rest of the week, but Sunday night I felt a few pokes in a row. Definitely the neatest feeling ever!!
Better get back to work. Weird day in the office. They are moving a bunch of people to reorganize again, so there has been a lot of activity outside my office. The office chatterbox is moving back near me again. Lord give me strength! She will just have a cubicle so I will be able to hear her all day. Thank the Lord for headphones! I'm just praying her boss keeps her busy. She likes to park herself in my office for 20 minutes at a time to give me the latest news from her life. *Sigh* 5 more months!!!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Smart Cookie
Since before we were pregnant, DW and I have had a hard time agreeing on sleeping arrangements for the baby. Since I plan on nursing, I wanted the baby to sleep with us for the first few months at least. It just makes it easier for those 2 AM feedings! He was strongly apposed to it because he worried about rolling over on the baby. I figured we were going to have to compromise by having the baby in the room, and just bringing it to the bed for feedings. I was thinking about it the other day and remembered seeing something a long time ago that attached to your bed. I did an Internet search (what did we do before Google?) and I have found it! The perfect solution!!
This little gem goes right next to the bed and even has leg extensions to fit any height! The baby is right there next to you and you don't even have to get up to nurse! There are different colors and designs to choose from. I am so excited! I want to go shopping! Anybody want to come?
Monday, January 25, 2010
It's Not Just Me!!
I've have been so cranky for the last few days! I was better over the weekend, but on Thursday and during the day Friday, I felt like I was going to snap. Poor DW! I felt better Saturday and Sunday, but Sunday night while sitting through Avatar, my boss started sending me a bazillion e-mails! OK, not a bazillion, but 15 by the end of the night. More followed this morning when I got to work. Stupid nit-picky e-mails too! I felt like one of those cartoons with steam coming out of my ears. Turns out my co-worker feels the same way! It's not just hormones!! Yea!! He is so lucky he is not in the office today. He has two crazy women mad at him!
One little whine today and I'm done. I am tired of being all boobs!! I am so jealous of all my blogger friends that already have their adorable bump I just look little I need to do a few more sit ups everyday. Everyone keeps telling me I don't even look pregnant. I just feel pudgy and afraid I am going to look like Pamela Anderson! I felt good Saturday after my run. 3.1 miles in the wind! Pretty proud of myself. Couldn't go this morning though because it was raining, which just makes me feel lazy. Sorry, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. On the contrary, I want the baby bump part here already! Bring on the belly!!
One little whine today and I'm done. I am tired of being all boobs!! I am so jealous of all my blogger friends that already have their adorable bump I just look little I need to do a few more sit ups everyday. Everyone keeps telling me I don't even look pregnant. I just feel pudgy and afraid I am going to look like Pamela Anderson! I felt good Saturday after my run. 3.1 miles in the wind! Pretty proud of myself. Couldn't go this morning though because it was raining, which just makes me feel lazy. Sorry, I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. On the contrary, I want the baby bump part here already! Bring on the belly!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
*Squish* Thank you....
Shhhh!! I am playing hooky from work. Well actually, I am here but I really don't want to be! I was really bad and did some shopping. I was feeling kind of down and baby shopping always perks you up!
I went to lunch with DW and a few of our friends. The couple that we are trying to buy their house from was there. The house has Chinese drywall and is going to be completely redone. We had thought the construction had already started, but it turns out nothing has been done yet. She turned to me and asked when my due date was again. When I said July, she said, "Oh, there is no way it will be done in time!" *Squish*!! There goes my dreams of the baby room and all that goes with a new house in time for the baby! Nice lunch!
Alright, done with the whining! A few updates:
New Year's was nice. We stayed in a cabin in Blue Ridge, GA that my parents rented. Very cold (12 degrees the day we left!), but we did get to see snow!
Thanks for all the well wishes. I am feeling great! No more all day sickness!! I'm not as tired anymore. I don't really have a belly, it just looks a little pudgy.
The best update: We got to see the baby again!! It waved, kicked and moved. So cute!! Only 4 more weeks until we can find out what it is!!
I went to lunch with DW and a few of our friends. The couple that we are trying to buy their house from was there. The house has Chinese drywall and is going to be completely redone. We had thought the construction had already started, but it turns out nothing has been done yet. She turned to me and asked when my due date was again. When I said July, she said, "Oh, there is no way it will be done in time!" *Squish*!! There goes my dreams of the baby room and all that goes with a new house in time for the baby! Nice lunch!
Alright, done with the whining! A few updates:
New Year's was nice. We stayed in a cabin in Blue Ridge, GA that my parents rented. Very cold (12 degrees the day we left!), but we did get to see snow!
Thanks for all the well wishes. I am feeling great! No more all day sickness!! I'm not as tired anymore. I don't really have a belly, it just looks a little pudgy.
The best update: We got to see the baby again!! It waved, kicked and moved. So cute!! Only 4 more weeks until we can find out what it is!!
(The arrow is pointing to it's little foot.)
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